


Every Good Boy Does Fine

by bibliotech



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-24
Updated: 2007-05-24
Packaged: 2017-10-19 22:28:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/205893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bibliotech/pseuds/bibliotech
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Okay, this is going to sound crazy, but go with me on this one.  I'm pretty sure that Elizabeth has been brainwashed to think she's my mom."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Good Boy Does Fine

**Author's Note:**

> So I says to [](http://lallybroch.livejournal.com/profile)[**lallybroch**](http://lallybroch.livejournal.com/), I says, "Great, now I want a story where John goes to Rodney and says, "Do you ever get the feeling that Elizabeth isn't taking me seriously?", and Rodney says "Yes, yes, all the time, can't you see I'm busy, go *away*," so he goes to complain to Elizabeth and she takes his hand and looks deep into his eyes and talks about him not living up to his full potential and he's all "Oh my god, I just got a lecture from *Mom*," and then his hair goes flat out of emo-ness because he realises that Elizabeth and Teyla and every woman on Atlantis just kinda humours him because they think he's a cute kid."

"Do you ever get the feeling that Elizabeth doesn't really take me seriously?"

Rodney ignored him. John had noticed that if Rodney put on a pair of goggles and carried around a flame torch, people usually assumed that for some reason he couldn't hear them. Either that, or they were worried about Rodney not-so-accidentally setting them on fire.

"It's just that lately she seems to be...well, not _actually_ patting me on the head, but sometimes she looks like she wants to." John slumped against the wall. "After we came back from that one planet with all those frogs, she offered me a _cookie_."

Rodney looked up, pushing up his goggles. "What kind of cookie?"

"That's not the _point_ , Rodney." John crossed his arms, giving Rodney a dirty look. "Has she said anything to you about it? Anything about me slacking off, or anything? Because I haven't been slacking off. I've been the opposite of slacking off."

"Yes, because you holding up that wall there is so vital to the well-being of this city," Rodney said absently, taking off his goggles. "I think these are too tight. Are they leaving marks? That can't be good for the skin."

"You know, if she's said anything, you could tell me. Guy code and all that. We have to stick together," John said.

Rodney rolled his eyes, turning the goggles in his hands. "Yes, because Elizabeth and I get together once a week and have long, detailed conversations about you. We all do, really. It's replaced poker night as the new favorite activity. Can't you see I'm _busy_ here?"

John decided to take the high road and leave the conversation at that. It didn't count, because he was used to Rodney pretending not to take him seriously.

***

"John." Elizabeth took his right hand, leaning closer. "You're worrying too much. You should relax more. I think you're starting to get a complex."

"I am not!" He paused. "What kind of complex?" Maybe he had a few, but he was pretty sure that no one had discovered those yet.

She patted his hand, giving him a bright smile. "You're doing a very, _very_ good job, John. Everyone's very proud of you."

John frowned, giving her a doubtful look. "Well. Thank you?"

Elizabeth patted his hand once more, finally letting go. "You're a very, _very_ good commander. Don't you worry about a thing."

***

"Okay, this is going to sound crazy, but go with me on this one. I'm pretty sure that Elizabeth has been brainwashed to think she's my mom." John waited for a reaction.

Teyla raised a brow, resting her chin in her hand and watching him intently. "And you say this because...?"

"Because!" He frowned. "Because, she keeps doing that _thing_." John nodded, as if that explained everything.

"That...thing." It never failed to amaze John how Teyla could say so much without any inflection or facial expression whatsoever.

"Yes! That _Mom_ thing. The one where she pats you on the head and sends you off with a cookie and tells you you're a very good boy and go play now." He gave her a pleading look. "Tell me you know what I'm talking about."

Teyla stood, giving him the hint of a smile. "If you have noticed some sort of change in Elizabeth, I am sure that it is completely valid." She left before he could retaliate--and he totally would have, as soon as he'd come up with a good comeback. Probably.

***

"Okay, it's not just Elizabeth." John was pacing in Rodney's quarters, while Rodney tried to pretend that he didn't exist. It was becoming their thing.

Rodney sighed, putting down his book. "Who is it now?"

John held up a finger. "First, Elizabeth." Then another finger. "Second, I went to tell Teyla about it, and she pulled the Mom thing on me too." A third finger. "I'm not sure if Kate counts, because I can't remember a time when she _hasn't_ done the Mom thing, but we'll call her the third one until I can look into this with more detail."

"Oh, right," Rodney agreed. "Because what this really needs is more detail."

"You haven't seen this?" John paused, tilting his head. "Well, I can't imagine anyone telling you you've been a good boy--"

"Hey!"

"--but still, why am I the only one that gets the Mom treatment?"

"Because you're a troublemaker that never met a crisis he didn't want to get involved with?" At John's look, Rodney held up his hands, trying to look innocent. "Hey, I'm just giving you more detail."

"It's not like I'm a child, you know." John gave him one last dirty look, returning to his pacing. "I've been involved in some pretty rough situations since we got here. I think that has to count for something, doesn't it?"

"Yes," Rodney said, picking up his book, "You're a very good boy, Colonel. There's a powerbar over on the desk, if you want it."

John considered giving him another dirty look, but Rodney had already returned to his book, so it would just be wasted anyhow. And taking the powerbar because he was hungry was completely different from agreeing that he was a good boy.


End file.
